Closer
by shortsweetandviolent
Summary: What if Edward’s control wasn’t as strong. The feral vampire side of him becomes more dominant as he tries to stay away from the first person he’s wanted in over 100 years.
1. Far-Updated-Sept-tenth

Disclosure: I do not own twilight or any of its characters. The entire twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

POV: Edward

Setting: Just after Bella arrives in Forks.

Warm breath, hit hot against my face as my eyes open. I knew that I had lost myself to the monster as some point, but I couldn't pull it all back. I felt the shifting under me and instantly my muscles tightened. Someone was under me? Where was I? Only a quarter of a second had past since I opened my eyes. I hesitantly lowered my gaze towards the movement and I was met with a pair of entrancing brown eyes, wide with fear. It was like something inside me broke in that moment. I felt like she was home, my everything. Who was she?

I felt her exhale and I was snapped back into the reality. I was in the room of a human girl. No, not just in her room, on her bed, straddling over her. To make it worse she was conscious. I scanned her thoughts and ... nothing? How was I getting nothing? Before I could completely process that she exhaled again, sending another wave of fire from the white hot iron that was her blood down my throat. I clenched my fists, hoping that I would not strike the poor girl. A muffled gasp of pain pulled me back to reality and I realized I had gripped her arms tightly. Much too tightly for her human body. I jumped back off the bed and across the room, hitting the far wall.

"It's okay.. you didn't hurt me. I was just startled." She said in a hushed voice. Was she reassuring me? No, she wouldn't do that. I'm an intruder, an attacker. Surely she just thinks she's still dreaming.

I looked up to the girl to see her shifting in her bed, her sent filling the room causing venom to fill my mouth. I swallowed hard, her sent so inviting I held my breath. How could she not feel the danger she was in like all the other humans? Their instincts telling them a predator was in their midst. "Are you okay?" Her voice called to me from the bed. I hadn't even realized how tightly my fists were curled.

How did I get here and where exactly is 'here'. I scanned the room and noted the stack of books on the floor. Brönte? What teenage girl reads the classics? A framed picture above that showed the girl smiling next to the chief of police, Charlie Swan. So this is the girl the town had been waiting for. Her arrival giving the residents something new to gossip about.

That still didn't explain how I had gotten here nor how I was going to explain this away to the girl. I couldn't kill her without draining her, her blood much too tantalizing. More so than anything I had ever encountered before.

"I'm sorry." I muttered in a shaky voice, pinching the bridge of my nose. I needed more air to form the next sentence. Inhaling, the flames shot down my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut. "I think I was sleep walking." I lied. She needed to believe the story in order to live, seeing as I didn't even know how much she had witnessed.

The girl sat up farther causing me to open my eyes and I immediately noticed that she was trying to hold her t-shirt together. A large rip going down the center of the shirt showed the creamy color of her pale skin. I could see the curvy of the swell of her breasts. They looked so pert, so warm and I wondered what color her nipples might be. 'What is wrong with me? I have never fantasized about a woman before. Did I do that to her shirt? No. No no no. I wouldn't have. But.. I can't even remember coming here. And why can't I hear her mind!' My mind was being pulled in a thousand different directions. I couldn't remember my mind being this scattered since I was a newborn.

My eyes drifted back and forth between her ripped shirt and the pulsing artery in her throat. 'Damn it! Keep it together', I thought as I watched her face turn red as she must have noticed my staring.

"Could you please be so kind as to tell me how I got here?" I asked in a lulled tone. If I couldn't get any answers from her mind I would just have to ask.

The sweetest sound I've ever heard filled the room, like chimes. Her tinkering muffled laugh filled the room. Apparently my confusion amused her. A smile grew across her face as she eyed me.

"Well I'm not sure _how_ you got here, however, I woke up to you on top of me. To be honest, I thought you were a murder! You looked so.. angry. You were making this strange low humming sound, sort of like growling. And then I tried to move and you must have woken up because it's like your face changed and you looked confused, startled and scared." Her voice faded as she spoke the last words. Our eyes connecting and I felt a heat rise in my chest. Not a painful heat, one that warmed me, something that I had never felt.

Our eyes continued to hold each other, and it felt almost like this human girl could see into my soul. See all of then horrible things that I had done, all the suffering I had been through, the empty eternal nights. However, unlike every other human, she didn't appear scared in the slightest. No. She seemed.. intrigued? Her head tilted to the side as she sat up onto her knees.

"My name is Isabella, but I prefer Bella. Could you please tell me your name?" Her voice was soft, comforting. I took a step away from the wall and towards her. Why was she not afraid? Especially given that she just woke to be in her room on top of her. "Edward. My name is Edward." I said as my feet carried me forward without permission.

My fists clenched my hands tighter knowing when I inhaled again it would be torture. Being in this closed room was like being immersed in her scent. There was no escaping it. Something about her blood.. I inhaled again, however this time was different. There was a shift inside my mind. A shift of control between me and the monster. I was no longer the side with more control.

It was like I was watching what unfolded from a hazy screen, attempting to find the controls. My body bound forward, tackling her flat to the bed. My right hand held her wrists above her head while my left hand rested on her hip. Why could I not stop this? How was this happening? More importantly, I felt hatred towards myself for feeling enjoyment for the actions.

Our eyes met and I could only wish mine weren't reminiscent of the attacker I felt like. Her eyes were wide with surprise, understandably, seeing as I was straddling her again. There was another emotion in her eyes though, one I wasn't expecting. Lust.


	2. Willing

Disclosure: I do not own twilight or any of its characters. The entire twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

POV: Edward

It felt like her warm comforting eyes were boring into mine, trying to decipher if I was as safe as I seemed only moments prior. What was happening to me? None of this made any sense. How much had the poor girl seen. Why did it feel like my stone heart may start beating when I looked at her. I cannot recall ever experiencing emotions such as these. A million thoughts coursed through my head, none of which were hers as I attempted to decipher what was occurring. I couldn't hear her? What did that mean?

The first feeling was the monster inside me. The form of evil that was a constant figure in my background, waiting to make itself known. It snarled and snapped at the poor human girl in front of me with ferocity I had never witnessed before. Was this the reason why I had blacked out? Had he taken over completely, overrun by the blood lust. I couldn't deny that her sent was the most appetizing I had crossed. Every time that I inhaled, a shiver raked down my spine, my mind clouded over and the monster gained more control. But why?

The second feeing was intrigue. He mind was blank to me, however, the intense curiosity her eyes held proved that she was clearly analyzing the situation. The lack of knowledge and my slip was enough for several of my family members to demand the girls death. The thought of harm coming to her made a snarl rip through my chest involuntarily. Her eyes grew wide at the sound, however her eyes didn't contain only fear. Curiosity, fear, and.. arousal? She shifted up onto her knees, giving me a better view of her. She only wore the now ripped shirt and cotton panties.

My unnecessary breath caught in my throat at the sight. This was the third emotion. However I wasn't sure what it was. My eyes ran up the length of her thighs, her skin looked like a mix of cream and satin with the blood rushing underneath it. Her flat stomach looked so soft, like something I could rest my face against. The soft curve from her hip to her waist revealed a spot that my mind claimed was for my hands to grip. My mind came to a sudden stop as I realize the direction my thoughts had gone. I had never thought like this before. Of course, I had heard them in the minds of others, and attempted to ignore them. Now they plagued me, and the object the lustful thought enveloped was this small human girl.

"Do you need me to call someone?" I heard her soft voice call to me. No. No. Calling someone would mean my family would come and take me from her. I couldn't let them take her away. She was mine!! And like that I felt myself slipping away at the edges as the monster began to take hold . Then I felt myself slip farther into my mind until I was left only watching my body. I watched myself lunge at her, pinning her small body to the bed. My actions resembled the hunt, however, I could tell I was being careful not to hurt her.

So the monster wanted to play with his food? Or did he not want to kill her? Just savor the bouquet of her scent? His thoughts were a jumbled mess of violence, bloodlust and sex. The things he wanted from her were terrible and nightmarish. He thought of tying her to a post in the ground, one that wouldn't move. The rope so tight it cut into her delicate wrists. He thought of stripping her down, and how she would most likely blush in embarrassment as she became more exposed. His mind turned to the idea of marking parts of her that others would see, so everyone would know who she belonged to.

His thoughts turned into actions as his grip with his left hand tighten on her wrists, holding them together. His right hand made its way down the curve of her waist, trailing along the skin that was exposed from the shirt he had torn. _Soft. _The monster purred.

He looked to the girls face, her hair sprawled out around her pillow and over her face. Her chest rising and falling quickly as she panted. However, there was something strange about the way she was looking up at him. There was no fear. Only a strong gaze, filled with intrigue and lust.


	3. Lust

Happy Thursday!! I apologize about the fact that writing this story is taking me so long! I have no idea which direction I want to take it yet. If anyone has any suggestions or idea feel free to let me know! For anyone that is confused, the idea is that the "monster" vampire side of Edward is essentially a different person in the same body as the human, loving Edward. They are both aware of each other's existence and constantly fighting for ultimate control of the body.

Happy reading!!!

ALSO, I really would love a beta and for people to leave me ideas!!

Disclosure: I do not own twilight or any of its characters. The entire twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

POV: Edward

Being a mind reader made the emotion of lust one that I was familiar with. I had heard the lustful thoughts and seen the actions through the minds of others. I had heard lusting thoughts in the thousands towards my looks and occasionally actions set upon me by unknowing humans. But never in my almost 100 years years had I felt the feeling I thought I knew so well.

It seemed that I was no different than all the humans though. I had deemed them all lesser beings due to the fact that their minds were so easily taken over by these lustful thoughts. Going from zero to sixty in a snap. Yet, here I was, almost unable to control my own actions. Had I officially gone insane?

I know that if the chocolate eyed woman underneath me were to ask me to stop touching her, that I would instantly. That was the problem for me though. She wasn't asking me to stop. In fact, her eyes almost pleaded me to continue. She bit down on her full bottom lip and I felt a small quiver run though my body.

I let go of the tight hold I had been keeping on her wrists, my hands now running through her thick chestnut hair. Only inches apart, I could feel her hot breath on my face. It felt so nice. The only warmth I ever felt was from the sun and in this town it wasn't very other. This was the firsts moment I had since I was turned where I actually felt like a teenager.

It still felt like I wasn't in complete control, however, the monster no longer dominated my mind. What was it about this women that cause my years of control to go out the window. It was like the primal side of my mind switched on with just the sight of her.

I felt her small hot hands down my shirt. Were all humans this warm? This was the most physical contact I had ever had, human or vampire. It was marvelous. Her hands came up under my shirt, touching my sides and my eyes closed, a shaky breath leaving my mouth. _How had I gone so long without this?_

I felt her hips move underneath me as she pressed her small frame closer to me. _Didn't she feel how cold I was? Didn't it frighten her? _

_It was like my new physical experience opened up a part of my mind I had never knew existed. I'm not entirely sure I want it opened though. However, I couldn't bring myself to shut it down. This was like my own personal heaven, wrapped neatly up in my own personal hell. _

"Is this... okay?"She asked, lingering on the last work showing her hesitation. In my distracted state I had failed to notice that she had moved her hands. They now were resting higher up on my chest. Apparently, she had managed to undo the first few buttons of my dress shirt without me noticing.

The feeling of her pulsating fingertips running through my chest hair was bliss. I felt like my voice was stuck in my throat. Her touch caused a feeling of electricity to radiate over my skin, like another thing drawing me in. I couldn't help but stare down at her hands, the strongest source of the feeling.

"Do you feel it too?" She asked in a whisper

All I could manage was nodding my head yes, the shock that she also felt this feeling keeping my absent voice away.

I felt as she leaned up towards my face and I held my breath, unsure of what her actions were. I could feel the rapid pounding from her heart against my chest and it almost felt like I had a heart beat. I had never been in a situation where there were so many unknowns.

The feeling of her moist, hot breath on my neck made me tremble and grip her bed sheets tightly. Suddenly, the soft, plush feeling of her lips touched my neck and I couldn't help but suck in a breath. Just like that, the monster was back in control again. I watched as my body pushed her flat against her mattress and I almost screamed as I saw myself going for her jugular. I wasn't until after the monster has reached its destination that I realized his intentions.


	4. Seconds

A big thanks to everyone who has left me ideas for the story! This is my first story so it means a lot. There are still so many different ways that I can go with this, so keep throwing your thoughts at me! I think something that people forget because of the way S. Meyer wrote is just how hormonal some some teenagers. The Bella in this story is like that. Lastly, I am STILL looking for a beta.

Disclosure: I do not own twilight or any of its characters. The entire twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 4: Seconds

Words: 1,900

Post Date: November 5,2019

POV: Bella

I shut the heavy wooden door to my "new" bedroom behind me and let me weight lean against it. All I could hear was a high pitched ringing, possibly due to the completely silent house. It was like the entirety of the last three months of discussions, planning and actions were just now coming to a sudden crash against my body and mind. Day one of living in Forks, Washington was complete and I couldn't be happier. I know that my intentions for exiling myself here were good, but I think that I may have been a tad delusional when I thought that everything here would be almost the same as living with Renee. I think my mind had switched to a sort of self preservation mode and fed me the lies I needed to get through to the end.

The day hadn't been too terrible beside the rain that pounded loudly against the roof. I shouldn't have expected anything less. Charlie had been nice enough with the entire situation and even seemed genuinely pleased to have me here. He had dropped me off at the house after we got back from the diner before he had to go back to the station for his night shift. I was grateful to have the entire house to myself, it made it feel like I could breathe a little easier.

I grabbed my tote, pajamas and towel and walked to the bathroom. The appliances on the shower must have been from before my parents lived in the hose together. I wrenched the knob to the right and they creaked, hot water pouring from the faucet. I stepped in and let my mind wander as I washed myself. At least I had Sunday to get ready before I had to start school, which would be helpful to have the time to unpack. I was nervous about attending this high school because unlike the large metropolitan high schools that I had attended due to Renee's flightiness, I couldn't fade into the background as easily.

I rinsed the strawberry conditioner out of my hair, soaking if the last of the hot water and wrenched the water off. I quickly toweled myself dry and put my pajamas on, then brushed my teeth. Grabbing my tote and damp towel I walked back to my new bedroom. The digital clock on the nightstand read 923 PM and I felt the weight of the day hit me again. Throwing the towel over the chair and the tote on the desk, I walked over to the window and opened it a crack. The room felt too stuffy for me to not feel claustrophobic.

Pulling back the covers I sat down in the middle of the surprisingly comfortable bed. Charlie did a good job picking out a new mattress, I was expecting it to be unconf.. In an instant all the wind was knocked out of me, as if I ran headlong into a concrete wall. I didn't even have time to process what had happened before I was staring into the most intense black eyes. The heavy weight of a body pressed firmly against me, while my back sank into the mattress. I felt frozen, unable to scream, every muscle in my body was tensed. My mind screamed at me to fight, that this was an attacker, however, my body wouldn't respond. A deep sound emanated from my attacker, almost like a growl and I felt a new wave a fear flash through my body like ice.

His face was almost touching mine and I felt his shallow cool breath hitting my face, it smelt like honey and vanilla. He laid atop me motionless, staring at me like an animal staring down its prey before the kill. I remembered what Charlie had once told me about emergency situations. That you should try to get a look at your attacker if you could, that way you could identify them later. I looked at the man above me to see what features stood out. All I could hear around his was the loud rain hitting the roof and the strong wind blowing in through the now completely open window.

Firstly his skin had an illuminating white tone to it and it stretched tightly across a sharp jawline. Deep purple hues lay beneath his black eyes, almost as if he had been punched in the noise. His hair was in disarray and was wet, like the rest of him, probably from the rain outside. He didn't look quite like a man though, more like an older boy, closer to my age. However, there was one thing that I couldn't deny and it was that he was stunningly gorgeous, most-likely the best looking person I had ever laid my eyes on.

I attempted to shift underneath him and was instantly met with two things. I felt cold hands quickly touch my abdomen and heard the sound of fabric tearing. Next I felt my hands being forced over my head, flatly hitting my pillow. Instinctively I tried to pull them away and cried out when it felt like a vice grip tightened around my wrists. The second the sound came out of my mouth his facial expression changed. My attacker now looked down at me perplexed, like he was trying to analyze the situation. As if HE was the one who had just been thrown onto his own bed and pinned down.

As suddenly as he had appeared on top of me he was gone. I quickly sat up and saw him standing on the far side of my room, his back firmly pressed again the wall. He looked terrified, almost as if he had just woken up. Maybe that's what had happened, maybe he was one of my neighbors and was sleep walking. No matter what the reason, he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"It's okay.. You didn't hurt me. I was just startled." I heard my voice tremble with each word as if I didn't even believe it. Did I believe it? And why did I feel the compulsion to comfort the person that was attacking me in my own home? What was it about this guy that made me feel the need to help him? I felt a cold draft against my stomach and looked down, realizing that my shirt had been torn in two and that I was exposed. I grabbed the ends of my shirt and pulled them together in a lame attempt to cover myself. "Are you okay?" I stuttered.

I looked back at him to see that his hands were curled tightly in fists at his sides. He looked like he was possibly in pain, but I couldn't be sure. "I'm sorry," His gruff voice almost too low for me to hear, his pained face suddenly looking at me. I mean he was really looking at me like I was the first fellow human he had seen in weeks. I know that I should be embarrassed that he was staring at me while I only wore panties and a now ripped oversized tee-shirt, but I couldn't. His staring didn't feel uncomfortable, it felt comfortable, familiar in a way that made embarrassment impossible. In fact, the way he was staring at me made me feel.. Sexy I think?

I couldn't be certain due to the fact that I had never felt sexy before, however, I didn't want the feeling to go away.. It made me feel powerful. Regardless of how I felt, my body once again betrayed me by sending a rush of blood up to my face, making me blush furiously. I jumped slightly when he spoke, "Could you please be so kind as to tell me how I got here?" His soft voice made my stomach turn to knot as his question answered my assumption of his obvious sleep walking. Glad that I was not being attacked I couldn't help but laugh with relief.

"Well I'm not sure how you got here, however, I do know that one moment I was alone in my room, sitting on my bed. The next thing I know, you are on top of me. To be honest, I thought you were a murder! You looked so.. Angry. And you were making this strange low humming sound, sort of like growling. Then when I tried to move, it must have snapped you awake because your face changed, and you looked confused and startled." I stated in detail, in an attempt to jog his memory.

I looked up to meet his eyes and I once again felt frozen. This time it was not out of fear, though. It was like the loneliness that I felt my entire life dissipated. Why did this stranger make me feel this way? I sat up onto my knees as I looked at him, really looked at him. "My name is Isabella, but I prefer Bella. Could you please tell me your name?" I watched him take a step towards me as he ran a hand through his tousled hair.

I watched as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Edward. My name is Edward." He stated as he took several more steps into the room. I watched as he took a deep breath in and his face changed in an instant. I was no longer propped up on my knees. I was flat on my back, with both of my hands above my head, tight in his grasp. I could feel his cold hand tightly gripping my hip.

The only sounds in the room were my heart beating loudly in my ears and the shallow, erratic breathing escaping both of us. I never once thought about what I would do if faced in a situation like this. Maybe I would scream or knee him in the groin like I was taught in self defense class. However, I never once thought that the sight of my attacker would turn me on. I would have to ponder the fact later and figure out if it was the assault aspect of the fact that he was the most ravishing person I had ever laid eyes on that aroused me. I did know one thing for a fact and that was I didn't want this to end and it didn't look like he wanted it to end either. Our eyes met and I bit down on my bottom lip in an attempt to stop myself from nervously laughing as I brought my right foot and trailed it up his calf.


End file.
